The Football Ramble
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Dutch tech company Triple IT have created an Oculus Rift application that allows immersive analysis of football matches.

According to, the device “uses data from stadium cameras and tracking systems to create a VR replay of a soccer match”.


Players can then whack on a headset, replay the game from their own perspective (or that of a team mate) and see precisely how they managed to score an own goal on the volley from the edge of the area.

For example.

It’s not a question of if this tech will be adapted for use by your average punter, but when. So with that in mind, if you could put yourself into any game from any era, which would it be? Who would you play as? Why?


The best answers will be awarded points. These, as per Ramble tradition, will be worth nothing.


By Kelly Welles

Oculus Rift, Triple IT

Here’s Marseille manager and notorious video addict Marcelo Bielsa sitting on a cup of coffee.

One for Harry Hill, perchance?


By Kelly Welles

Marseille, Marcelo Bielsa

Dirty shorts. A mouthful of mud. A surface like a recently ploughed field. Dog poo.

This is where the real beauty of football lies.

Liam Roberts, Piers Rossiter, Chris Saltmarsh & Tom Henderson, we salute you for reminding us with this superb effort.


By Kelly Welles

Chris Saltmarsh, Piers Rossiter, Tom Henderson, Liam Roberts

“I loathe all that passing for the sake of it, all that tiki-taka. It’s so much rubbish and has no purpose. You have to pass the ball with a clear intention, with the aim of making it into the opposition’s goal. It’s not about passing for the sake of it.”

                                                                      Pep Guardiola via Telegraph Sport.

Bloody hell. Zlatan’s relentless campaign of hate has finally got to him, hasn’t it?


By Kelly Welles

Bayern Munich, Barcelona, Pep Guardiola, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Tiki-Taka

He might look like a choir boy sex doll (H/T JamesOrJimCampbell) but the disgust Mario Götze manages to convey using mere facial expressions and a grunt is more than the entire England team could manage after a year of intensive media training and a bout of electroconvulsive therapy.

Is the German National Team in crisis, as this genius of a journo asks in the mixzone after Germany lost 2-0 to Poland?

We’re going with no. Now shut up. He’s got a bus to catch.


By Kelly Welles

Germany, Poland, mario gotze

Even those of you with Bielsan levels of dedication to football will be familiar with the work of Roger Federer.

One of the finest tennis players ever to grace the court, he’s won virtually everything there is to win, several times, and has transcended the game with his capacity for pulling off insane shots in high pressure situations.

Oh, and there was that time he casually smashed a can off a nervous looking crew member’s head from distance during a Gillette shoot.

But while impressing the likes of us with your abilities isn’t hard (on the scale of athleticism that runs from ‘Utterly Inept’ to ‘Elite’, we’re dozing comfortably in the ‘Sloth’ area) thrilling people capable of their own feats of genius is something else entirely.

When you can make the likes of Paolo Maldini & Andriy Shevchenko shake their heads in awe at your insouciant flair, it’s only a matter of time before someone builds a statue.

Gits. The lot of ‘em.


By Kelly Welles



Paolo Maldini, Roger Federer, Andriy Shevchenko

gold suit
That suit in full.

It’s raining. It’s chilly. Winter’s looming like Peter Crouch in a giraffe costume.

But it hasn’t always been this way. Just a few short months ago we were looking forward to third degree burns, contemplating the sartorial dos and don’ts of shorts in the workplace and the possibility of England not being rubbish in a World Cup.

Heady days indeed.

Allow us to help you recapture those glorious moments.

Turn the heating up, put your mankini on and watch two more videos from the Football Ramble’s first ever live show, during which the boys discuss the pitfalls of renting an apartment from Ronaldinho and cast their eyes over the FIFA bus slogans for the aforementioned tournament.

Then take a picture and send it in. Dare ya.


By Kelly Welles

Ronaldinho, ronaldo, Football Ramble Live

This POV video of Everton U21 Russell Griffiths being put through his paces during the club’s summer training camp in Austria certainly dispels the myth that a keeper’s fitness requirements extend to pulling off the odd jump between fags and Mars Bars chucked at them by the crowd.

Or does it? In the interests of completeness, we obtained this exclusive footage from Neville Southall’s POV cam, circa 2000.


Oh well. It was fun while it lasted.


By Kelly Welles

Everton, Neville Southall, Russell Griffiths, Bradford City

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